messy scribbles & dirty thoughts

Though dust
Though time
Though feet run
As if words a knife

I’ll dress in a suit and tie
Just to look more important than I
Could ever want to be
And I’ll knot my ego round your throat
To tow the corporate line

The office desk filled with dreams
Filed on letters never seen
They slowly slipped my mind
Who am I?

Paper towers block the sky
Standing on the edge of reasons why
I’ll never want to see
And then I post-it note my hope
To show I’m still alive

The office desk filled with dreams
Filed on letters never seen
They slowly slipped my mind
Who am I?

I thought
I had grown smarter
Found answers with age
Direction
Through experience
But really
I had just given it a name
Still the fear crackles and glows
Burn red
In mornings first cigarette

The crowds rustle and bustle
Faces painted on
From where they're running from
The sounds muscle and tussle
Jaded tainted hum
Made at the lucky ones
And I’m waiting at the station
Standing in the rain
For the kiss that never comes
The fading expectation
Landing on the train
Where you sit forever gone
My wish for you is strong-
Don’t look back

I will steal a glance
To count every goose bump

And the rise and fall
Rise and fall
Rise and fall of breath
That screams, that begs:

What next?

I could win the lottery, well
Maybe
But honestly?
That wouldn't mean a lot to me
Nor famous, even if models
With sexual favours
Bought me complaints
From my neighbours
For all the moaning
Because when I’m holding you
There is nothing more exquisite
Than knowing you, and only you
Could give me butterflies
And I miss it
My god where is it?
Where are you?

Too many
Dream of
Being anywhere
But here

How busy
The night
How lonely
The few

When I close my eyes to sleep
I wonder if I’ll see the morning
I do not think of heaven
Yet angels shake their heads
Sad at all I’ve missed, all I’ve ignored
And the fear takes me
That today I did not manage, even the simple things:
Smiled at you, said thank you; listened
I want to be there beside you
Tell you ‘sorry’ for driving you mad
For standing puppy dog eyed
As if I’ve stained the carpet
For opening instead of closing
Closing instead of opening my mouth
For running before I can walk
And falling childlike at your feet
So sweet precious
If tomorrow is not mine to meet
I hope a day will come
When you read this and know
That you were my dreams each night
And I loved you